A sweary
angry yet accurate
report on the Coalition's
time in office

Created by a human being who gives a shit

They've fucked up the NHS

Before the election the Conservatives promised “no more top-down reorganisations” of the NHS. This was reiterated in the Coalition agreement. Yet what have those fuckers done? Only embarked on the largest, most damaging top-down reorganisation of the NHS this country has ever fucking seen.

The perversely named ‘Health and Social Care Act’ carved up the NHS into bite-sized chunks for corporate vultures to feast upon. Hospital waiting times are now the worst in 7 years and your cancer care could soon be provided by fucking Virgin.

Kailash Chand, a senior dude at British Medical Association and a GP for over 30 years, warns “Government policy and privatisation mean the NHS as we know it could be gone in as little as five years”. Well fuck.

Verdict: Seriously fucked

They haven't cleared the fucking deficit

The Coalition promised to do one thing above all else. Eliminate the fucking deficit (by 2016-17). Are they on track to do that? Are they fuck.

The 2014-15 deficit stands at £87bn. That's more than double the £37bn that George Osborne originally said it would be by now. When adjusted for the state of the economy, the UK deficit now is higher than any other EU country bar Croatia.

Verdict: Massive fucking fail

They're fucking the environment

Another thing that douchebag Cameron promised was that this government would be "the greenest government ever". Don't make me fucking laugh.

The Coalition has gone out of its way to promote fracking, even changing trespass law to allow fracking beneath our homes without our permission. Whilst big oil companies get tax breaks to bleed the North Sea dry, Osborne abolished an investment scheme that was encouraging a renewables revolution. The truth is the Coalition couldn’t give a fuck about the environment.

Verdict: Not even a fucking tiny bit green

They've made education really fucking expensive

Want one more? Oh yeah, how about fucking tuition fees. In 2010 Nick Clegg promised to vote against any rise in fees. Once in government, he trebled them.

Students now leave university more than £44,000 in debt, and will be paying off their student loans well into their 50s.

Verdict: Absurdly fucking expensive

Conclusion

Don't be a fucking idiot. Don't vote these privileged idiots back in.

The Coalition has been a total fucking failure even on its own terms. The only reason the Tories aren’t fucked in the polls is that they have a load of newspapers on their side and are spending shitloads of money on advertising.

Fortunately, they forgot to ban Facebook and Twitter. Social media is our lifeline in combatting the horseshit being put out by the Murdoch press.

So fucking share this shit. The Coalition is a steaming pile of failure and broken promises. Let’s make sure everyone knows.

Fucking Facebook it: Tweet this shit:
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